A Castle, Embarrassment and the Videos
by Silver KatSage
Summary: Well, our characters are bored. It's your typical What do you wanna do? I don't know what do you wanna do? scenario. But what should happen when they come accross embarrassing videos of each other...


**a Castle, Embarrassment and the Videos**

**The Zelda characters (all cept Nabooru) get bored one day and go to Zelda's Palace/Castle thingy and sit around being bored until Nabooru enters with a box full of videos. the videos are all home movies that hold some really embarrasing moments for each of the characters. Each chapter is someone else's video and each chapter has at least 3 embarrasing moments, Severe Ruto/Ganondorf/Mido bashing in the videos.**

It was one dark night. Zelda, Link, Malon, Ganondorf and the other Sages (all except Nabooru) were sitting on a couch in front of a blackened out TV. "Well that's no good…"

"What are we gonna do now?" Link asked annoyedly. "The only reason we came here was because we were all bored shitless and now there's absolutely NOTHING for us to do…"

"I know!" Mido rose to his feet. "MONOPOLY!"

They all looked at each other.

"Monopoly? Hmm… ok!" Malon agreed. "Let's play monopoly!"

"I'M THE BANK!" Darunia yelled.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I'M THE BANK!" Rauru yelled back.

"NOOOOO! I'M THE BANK YOU SON OF A BITCH HOBO!"

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP! WE'RE NOT PLAYING MONOPOLY! It's dumb and boring…" shouted Saria who kicked the game board over.

"Well what do you wanna do? Meditate and hug trees?" Ruto asked. Saria gave an evil glare.

"You say that like it's a bad thing…"Rauru whimpered and scampered away. Suddenly the power flickered back on.

"Whew… now we can continue our movie…" Zelda said thankfully.

Two minutes later…

Everybody had fallen asleep, mouths wide open drooling. Zelda was the only one awake, she sat on the edge of her seat, eyes wide and brimming with tears. She grabbed a tissue and began to sob. "OH MY GOD THAT IS SO SAD. DON'T YOU JUST THINK THAT'S TERRIBLE? HUH GUYS? …GUYS?"

Zelda turned around and saw her friends snoring. She sweatdropped before turning red and screaming at them all "RAURU ATE THE LAST DONUT!" Everybody gasped and dove for the Donut box, including Rauru. Suddenly the power blacked out once more.

Another two minutes later…

The room was lit up by candles and the characters were all shivering.

"It's cold!"

"I'm hungry!"

"ZELDA DON'T GRAB MY FOOT!"

"But I'm not!"

"OH MY GOD IT'S A ZOMBIE! AAAAAH!"

"I'm still hungry…"

Impa snickered at Link's childishness. She was the one that had his foot.

"HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

The front door swung open that second showing a tall silhouette with a hood and a stick with a blade on the end.

Everybody's face was as the following: O.O

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Lightning struck.

"Hey you guys!" Called a familiar voice.

Saria perked up. "Wait a sec! That sounds like.."

Nabooru took off the hooded coat and hung it nearby.

"OH MY GOD DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! ZELDA, USE YOUR MAGIC!" Link screamed. Nabooru death glared him before slapping him on the face. Link snapped out of it immediately.

"Nabooru? When did you get here…"

Everybody fell over.

"Why the stick?" Zelda asked and pointed to Nabooru's weapon.

"Oh… I snatched it off some jerk with a distorted face and black clothes. Probably some kid trick-or-treating."

There was a long silence.

"Anywho, look what I got!"

Nabooru dumped a big pile of videos on the floor.

"What the? what are they?"

Link looked sheepishly from side to side.

"Z-Zelda! Something's GOT MY FOOT! AHHH"

He Jumped and hid under thebed, seconds later... "tap...tap...tap"

Link peaked out from where he was hiding, Impa looked at the door, Saria hid under a cushion and blanket that was draped over the couch, Ruto ran into the kitchen, Nabooru reached for her Scimitar, Mido Quivered from where he sat next to Saria with his arm Draped over her shoulders, it took a few seconds to realise there was more than one kokiri under the blanket and cushion...

Nabooru narowed her eyes and walked towards the door, she reached toward the handle. Lightning Struck. Her hand reached the handle, she grabbed her Scimitar and quickly pulled the door open and...

"Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I came to join the party! Bwhahahahaha!"

Everyone came out from where they were hiding.

"hey Ganny"

" Hey Link! why were you under the bed?"

" Oh I thought it might have been someone scary...like a clown, or the milkman"

He Shuddered. Scary Bastards they are. Ganondorf took a seat and got comfortable on the couch, minutes later you heard a strange creaking sound and the legs of the couch snaped and the couch fell to the ground with ganondorf still on it. He Noticed the Videos. The power Flickered and came back.

" Hey Lets Watch one of These!"

He grabbed at a video and put it into the Video player. the first thing that came up on the screen was the words: 'Ganondorf's Home Movies!'

Everyone looked at the screen and Nabooru stole the controll and Ganny being in the position he was in, couldn't move to turn the video off so he watched on in Horror.

"This ought to be funny..." Darunia said darkly.

"Uhh… hehe yeah… you know what? I just remembered, I brought some popcorn, why don't we all go into the kitchen, I'll grab the biggest knife I can find and we can cut open the bag together!" Ganondorf mumbled, trying to get everybody away from the TV screen.

"NOT… so… fast…"

Saria had Ganondorf by the ear. "Sit down, and watch this first."

Ganondorf whimpered.

"Can I phone home? My mom is sick!"

Impa nodded. "That's nice dear and none of us could agree more." She patted him on the back and forced him to sit down. Ganondorf took in a deep breath. This was it! A portion of his history revealed to the world…

At first, it really wasn't that bad. Just Ganondorf as a teen sitting down at a desk, doing his homework. He sighed in relief. 'Great. It's one of my NORMAL tapes not that one where…'

Everybody screamed.

"HOLY FLYING PIZZA!"

"OH MY GOD GANONDORF…"

"AAAAAAH!"

Ganondorf hid away in fear.

The camera porned in for a close up on ganondorf's face as he was Jacking off, you couldn't see anything that was happening below his waist but it was still disturbing. What was worse was, this pimply faced red-haired teenager in the camera was moaning Ruto's name.

Ruto looked around the room feeling Disturbed and Sickened. She ran out of the room screaming and minutes later you could hear vomiting sounds, the scene on the movie changed and ruto's vomiting echoed through the halls and you could still hear it.

Nabooru stood and walked over tp the door and shut it lightly so you could still hear what was going on in the home movie. Teenage Ganondorf was reading his diary aloud not realising the camera was still on.

_Dear Diary_

_Today i met the most amazing girl ever, her name was Nabooru, she is 5'6 with long red hair and the most amazing fighting skills. She is the best Guard of the tribe and just today she was proclaimed the protector of the spirit Temple... I want her to be my Queen, i love her, she is the most beautiful creature i have ever seen and..._

"OOF!OUCH! THATS MY HEAD!OUCHIES!NOOO!STOP!ITHURTSITHURTS!"

Nabooru had been listening to the movie and had started Bashing Ganondorf.

Everybody laughed hysterically.

"YOU BASTARD! …you're sick and twisted… eugh, I can't even think of a word bad enough to describe you…" the Gerudo snarled. Never had she been so pissed off and irritated or disgusted.

Ganondorf whimpered. "Does that mean you won't go out with me?"

Nabooru's eyes narrowed. She glared at him icily, expression unchanging.

"What the fuck do you think?"

Ganondorf perked up a little. "Really? You will!"

Everybody fell over and sweatdropped. Damnit this guy was thick.

"The day I go out with you, is the day I stop thieving." Nabooru scoffed before kicking him in the most excruciating place imaginable. She then left a large purple and blue bruise on his face. It swelled up, throbbing and aching sending red waves of unimaginable pain that sent his nerves on fire.

The Gerudo king was twitching and foaming at the mouth, the others looked on, disturbed. Nabooru smiled wickedly. "Any other takers?"

Ganondorf rolled on the ground, screaming. Zelda got a Deku Stick and began to poke his face.

"That looks fun! Let me try!" Saria also grabbed a stick and started whacking his feet.

"PLEASE… STOP… DYING… NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION…" Ganondorf yelled.

Link then turned on the radio. "HEY IT'S THE MACARENA!"

The young boy then stood on Ganondorf and began to dance. Ganondorf was almost suffocating, wincing in discomfort and struggling to breathe.

Impa looked around at everyone, half the group was bashing Ganondorf, Ruto was still throwing up in the bathroom, the Home Movie Was Paused just after the Diary Entry finished, Rauru was eating the couch and Link Was Dancing to the Macarena.

' Stupid People.. What the Fuck is this world coming to' she thought, she pulled out a deku nut and threw it at the radio, not being able to stand the pressure the radio cracked straight down the centre and died.

"HEY! I WAS DANCING TO THAT!"

The room went silent as everyone stared at Link Horrified. None of them had realised he was dancing. Ganondorf was beaten and bruised by now and Nabooru had tied him to the half-eaten couch and rauru had fallen unconcious because he had eaten a splinter. Nabooru Looked at everyone.

"okay if we're all finished doing whatever we were doing lets get back to ganny's most Embarrassing Movie moments". She Smirked, she couldn't wait to take the movie out to make copies for every family in hyrule.

Saria got up and pressed play on the VHS because somehow Rauru had eaten the controller. Darunia was sitting on rauru at the time trying to get him to cough it up but there was no success.

On the Plasma Screen was a slightly older ganondorf, now about 17, riding a black stallion through Terminan woods with about 50 odd guards chasing him. he was racing this stallion through its paces and was about to reach a raft that would take him all the way to Lake Hylia when, as he jumped onto the raft, his underwear caught on a branch just above his horse and as the horse kept running, Ganondorf couldn't finish his jump so he sat there hanging from this branch by his purple and orang boxershorts.

Everybody stopped and glared at Ganondorf. He just laughed nervously. "I umm… meant to do that… no, really, it's all part of being a warrior-dude-thingy, you gotta practice getting yourself out of tricky situations-"

"LIAR!"

Ganondorf flinched.

"Oh well. At least you guys never saw me with my pink Barbie underwear… I mean… oh crud…"

Man this guy was stupid. Just then another clip came up. Ganondorf sighed in relief. Perhaps this potentially lesser-embarrassing clip would distract them from what he had just revealed. Perhaps he'd seem a little less retarded.

But Ganondorf's mind had spoken too soon.

The very kingly Ganondorf was standing proudly by his horse. The other Gerudos bowed to him as he mounted, just about to leave, when suddenly the girth strap that had been loosened slid around. Ganondorf was underneath the horse as it galloped at a dangerously fast pace. If he let go, he would suffer a horrible crushing from his horse's back legs. So the guy just clung on for dear life, screaming in a high-pitched voice that betrayed his appearance.

The other Gerudos laughed at him, no matter how hard they tried to be respectful.

"I reckon we should just leave him like that anyway…" one of them shrugged.

"The guy's a jerk and he smells bad…"

Back in the living room the people were crying tears of laughter.

"My god, you're such a loser your own race abandoned you!" Malon yelled.

Some veins on Ganondorf's head burst. His eyes turned white and tilted down evilly. "THAT'S NOT TRUEEEEEE! THEY CARE FOR ME VERY MUCH! MORE THAN ANYBODY CARES ABOUT ANY OF YOU FREAKS…"

Just then a Bunch of Trick-or-treators knocked on the door. Mido got up and walked over to open the door, he gulped. They were all Gerudo.

"TRICK OR TREAT!'

Zelda walked over.

"im sorry but Halloween isnt until Thursday but if you want a trick we have ganondorf tied to the chair over there" She smiled Graciously at the Gerudos. One of them wearing white baggy pants and a tube top walked over to ganondorf and slapped him in the face, dropped a bucket on his head and started playing bongo drums on hs head.

After about a 10 minute Ganondorf-Bashing fest the Gerudo's left one of which taking Rauru's Light Medallion from his sleeping form as they left. People returned their gaze to the Plasma screen once more.

During the Gerudo Encounter they had missed about an 11 year gap so upon the screen was a 7 or 8 year old Zelda and Link standing next to each other and then Ganondorf on his Black steed came cantering up to them.

((ON SCREEN))

on the screen Ganondorf looked down on Link and Zelda. he looked down at Little-Link for a few seconds.

"you there, BOY! what be your name?"

" Sir i am Link of Kokiri Forest"

"you do not look like a kokiri but i have heard of you, i hear that thou is fairly good with a sword"

Link, on screen, bowed and looked to ganondorf once again. " The best in Hyrule" he said proudly

"Really?" Ganondorf looked interested "lets find out!"

he went to draw his sword sharply bit the handle broke off and the blade left in his sheath.

Link Drew his sword slowly and walked up to ganondorf's horse, Zelda watching his every move. Link being the Smart kid he was cut ganondorf's Girth and ganondorf slid to his horse's underside.

Ganondorf sat under his horse upsidedown.

" I was mad at you before Kokiri but now im really Pissed Off"

Zelda Smirked.

"being that close to your horses weaner im afraid you might be"

Her face was smiling cheekily at his horrified one. Link turned his horse around and smacked it on the rear so it would start to run, Ganondorf bouncing up and down on his horse's underside hitting his head on the ground several times. Link deciding to be a bit of a smartass to the Gerudo King called out.

"MIND THE BIG ROCKS!"

((OFF SCREEN))

The expressions were as the following:

XD - Link

XD - Zelda

. - Ganondorf

o.O; - Everybody else

"Boy… do YOU need to sort out some serious issues between you and your horse…" Impa commented almost sarcastically.

"My horsie and I just do that for fun. It's a common practice for Gerudos to ride upside down and hit our heads in the process!"

Nabooru got a paper fan and smacked him into oblivion. "WE'RE NOT STUPID DUMBASSES LIKE YOU! WE'RE WAY COOLER! And we can ride properly. Not to mention we have a secret café you don't know about located underground where we throw darts at a photo of you."

Ganondorf scoffed. "That's a joke. You're all loyal slaves to me. Nobody would come up with such a ridiculous idea and expect people to follow it."

"Oh, no? I'm the very founder of the café." A random Gerudo walked in and held up a contract before running off to go steal something.

"Cool! Gotta remember to visit next time I go to the valley!" Link noted. Zelda agreed. "Take mee! Take mee! We can have a dart board game! I've even got a picture of Ganondorf we can use!"

Zelda held up one of the king stuffing his face with cake, it was pretty gross and even Rauru lost his appetite. He spat out a fish bowl, Zelda's grand piano, three cats, a yoyo, driving manual, a laptop, a lightsaber and a DOLLY magazine.

Everybody glared at the light sage.

"I didn't have dinner earlier, alright?"

Zelda choked, insulted.

"I had my cooks make dinner for you!" she yelled. "Why didn't you eat anything!"

Rauru shrugged. "It was healthy food. Rice. Veges. Lean meat. EUGH, nothing abnormal, shiny, glittery, fashion advisable, that plays music or was weirdly shaped!"

Zelda glared at him angrily. "I SHALL RELEASE MY ROYAL PANTHERS ON YOU!"

The others gasped in horror. Mido screamed and hit the floor. Impa cleared her throat. "Aren't we being a little… hasty there? Princess?" Zelda shook her head. "RELEASE THEM!"

Out ran two black kittens that hissed. Everybody else in the room yelled as though they were about to be murdered and scampered away.

The Black Kittens Advanced on Ganondorf and Rauru who just happened to be holding each other tightly,The Kittens Hissed loudly and everyone else now seeing that they weren't under attack by the kittens sat back and watched them walk towards Ganny and Rauru who shivered in fear.

"Hold me" Ganondorf told rauru.

"only if you hold me" rauru replied.

Everyone Shuddered and the kitten's fur stood straight up, as they advanced and hissed.

Ganondorf then began to almost smother Rauru. The fat man turned blue and began to flail around like a drunken fish. "MHHHHHHHHHHHPHHHHH!"

"MY GOD THEY'RE COMING CLOSER!"

Ganondorf held on tighter.

Rauru was completely blue and blacked out.

Ganondorf shook his new… umm… 'friend.'

"DON'T LEAVE ME MAN! DON'T LEAVE ME TO DIE ALOOOOONE! STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT! JUST DON'T LEAVE ME!" Ganondorf shook him repeatedly. Rauru was completely limp and fell forward, squishing Ganondorf who's turn it was to suffocate.

The kittens got bored and ran off to chase cars outside. If you're wondering why there's cars in Hyrule don't ask us. We don't know either.

Zelda pouted.

"MY ROYAL PANTHERS ARE GONE!"

"Don't worry." Link assured. "I'll get you new ones for your birthday!"

Zelda sighed. "Ok, good."

She closed the curtains and ignored the bloody screaming outside of the people being massacred by the panthers.

"Oh my god the horror is over…" Rauru rolled away to go eat some other random objects while Ganondorf remained pancaked on the ground. Impa got a shovel and tried to scrape him off the ground. Everytime she touched him though, he squealed in a funny voice that disturbed Impa causing her to drop the shovel and walk away.

Back on the Plasma screen there was a 27 year old ganondorf sitting on a gameshow answering questions. The Host of the show looked to him.

"okay Ganondorf, is the Hot tea Hot or Cold?"

"is it Iced Tea?"

"No the HOT tea is NOT iced tea"

"Well Then i have no idea"

The Host looked totally confused and the on Screen 14 year old Nabooru started throwing things at his head, mostly hitting him in the eyes.

Zelda and Link looked at each other, to the plasma and back at ganondorf.

"HOLY FLYING JEBUS YOU BE A DUMBASS GANNY!" Link shouted out!

"W-well the hot tea sort of looked iced and I thought… I thought Nabooru might have found my stupidity cute." Ganondorf admitted shyly.

"Cute?" Nabooru choked on whatever she was eating.

Ganondorf sighed. He knew he was hopeless.

Nabooru kept trying to gasp for air, kept coughing repeatedly but nothing was coming out. The Gerudo soon started to turn blue before collapsing on the ground.

Everybody was silent.

"You… killed her!" Link exclaimed.

"OH MY GOD, GET THE DEAD BODY OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE MY FATHER SEES IT!" Zelda screamed.

Ganondorf blinked. "I didn't kill her! YOU DID!"

Link drew his sword. "I NEVER KILLED ANYBODY… well I tried to kill you once. But that didn't work. Speaking of which, what the hell are you doing here anyway? Why did we even invite this guy?"

"I dunno…" Saria shrugged.

"Let's just throw him out now." Darunia suggested. "We must've been smoking some pretty weird crap when we let him in here."

Mido looked around. "Where is it? I want some!"

Nabooru then coughed up the CD case she had been choking on. Link turned to see her standing on her feet. "AAAAAH! SHE'S A ZOMBIE! EVERYBODY RUN, SHE WILL TRY TO EAT YOUUU!"

"It's just me, Link…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Link screamed again.

She then sighed and sat down. Zelda felt like whacking Link with a frypan. If anybody had been smoking earlier, it would have been him.

"Link, just sit down and shut up." Impa snarled.

Link shook his head.

"I don't want to. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Impa held up a lollypop and waved it a little. Link's eyes turned to love hearts and he began to drool uncontrollably.

"SHINYYYYYYY!"

The hero dove for the lollypop before landing on his face as Impa jerked her arm back.

"Hehe. Stupid kid."

"owww" Link Pulled his ass off the ground and moved towards the nearest chair, which happened to be on the glass table next to ganny, he rubbed his head as he sat down. The Glass Shattered beneath his weight and the iron holding it up suddenly bent out of place.

"LINK THAT WAS DADDY'S CRYSTAL TABLE! HES SO GUNNA KILL YOU IF HE FINDS OUT!"

"Eeeeek! i broke the table with my fat ass"

"Link! STOP THE MOVIE!" It was Ganondorf trying to end the movie up.

On Screen there was Ganny waiting at the edge of a pool wearing a towel as his race was called he stepped up and took the towel off, he wore a Speedo!

Link Screamed.Mido and Saria hid beneath the blankets on the couch. Ruto walked calmly into the room took one look at the screen and ran out to throw up again.Nabooru fell over as she was trying to back into the hallway and you could hear her bouncing down the stairs. Rauru Choked on the bench he was eating and started turning blue and Zelda Shuddered.

Ganondorf in The Movie dived into the pool and started to drown as Epona won the race.What the hell? Epona? Link's horse… winning the race? Thats impossible..but anyway...

You could hear Ruto walking slowly back down the hall and Nabooru still bouncing about 20 staircases down.

On the Plasma screen the scene changed to All Hallow's Eve where everyone was dressed in costumes and Ganondorf was walking down the streets. Random people ran away from his form screaming 'Bloody Murder'.

Link Stared at the Screen fixed by its Goryness and Horror then suddenly the scene went snowy and a scene of Buffy The Vampire Slayer started Playing. Impa stared and ran around trying to be a Slayer, Nabooru climbed all the stairs and walked back into the room covered in cuts and blood and dust and some green slime and sat down as if nothing had ever happened.

On Screen the snow came back and there Ganny stoiod Smiling into the lens which put a crack straight through the middle which magically repaired itself and turned to look at something else. that something just happened to be Nabooru in the Spirit temple wearing a Bright Red Mini Skirt, a Red Tube top and her hair out. Rauru's eyes turned to hearts, Ganondorf started Drooling and Nabooru went over and Slapped him.

"YOU TOOK PHOTOS OF ME IN MY PJS!"

everyone looked at her. She Blushed.

"it was a hot season okay?"

"…There's a cold season in the desert?" Link wondered.

Nabooru laughed nervously and put her hand around the back of her neck.

"Uhh… you know what? Let's just stop this tape before we get scared of Ganondorf again or… or something. Um, yeah. Hehehehehe. He. Hehe."

"Yeah. Or if we're disturbed by you in those skimpy clothes again." Darunia laughed.

Nabooru death glared the Fire Sage evilly.

"You're just jealous that I've got better clothes than you!" she defended, a desperate attempt of insulting the Goron.

Darunia sat back and pouted before folding his arms. "One day…" he muttered to himself and started to think of clothes.

The tape then began to show Ganondorf running on a treadmill at the local Gerudo gym.

"That's me getting into shape!" Ganondorf boasted loudly. "Look at those rock hard abs!"

His 'rock hard abs' were nothing but tissues that he'd screwed up and put under his shirt.

A random Gerudo then walked past him. Ganondorf's eyes widened and he wolf whistled loudly. The Gerudo turned around and smiled sweetly at him.

"Hey, sexy!" Ganondorf winked.

"Hey!" she said before switching the treadmill on its fastest option and punching Ganondorf in the face. The king then started to pant, struggling to keep running on the now very hyper treadmill, which had turned into a potential weapon of mass destruction. His legs gave in and the moment Ganondorf had stopped, he flew back and hit the wall, his legs sticking out.

To make matters worse the tissues had fallen out and landed everywhere.

"I umm… err… the tissues were there for cushioning the blow. Uh, yes, you see, us Gerudos have a fifth sense and we can sometimes tell when things are going to happen before they do!"

"OH MY GOD! We CAN!" Nabooru gasped.

Ganondorf fell over. Time to think of a second cover-up before he could be laughed at.

"uh...hehehehhe...yes..."

"are you lying to me?" Nabooru gave him the look.

"maybe...possibly.. NOT"

"oh..okay then" once more she smiled. "cool...ipredict that in a few moments you'll have a broken nose then!"

She punched him.hard. straight to the nose and you could hear bone splintering.Link winced at the sound.

"ouch" was all he said.

Meanwhile back on the screen the exact thing had just happened excpt that part of the ilm was made 6 years before. and then it changed to another scene where ganondorf was singing up to Nabooru's window until she pushed a grand piano out of the window and making it land directly on him.

TO BE CONTINUED! O.O


End file.
